Placing your child for adoption 

Adoption... the very word often gets a negative reaction. Adoption has been such a silent alternative that often women and their families do not even think about it in the crisis of a pregnancy. But research has shown that if adoption is simply mentioned as an alternative, the number of times it is chosen increases dramatically. Research has also shown that the earlier in pregnancy that adoption is mentioned, the more likely it is to be the option chosen If you feel that you are not ready to raise a child, adoption is a real and loving option. It may be difficult to imagine releasing for adoption the child you've loved enough to give life and nurture for nine months.

In reality, adoption is a much more positive experience compared to its presentation in the media. Take a look at some of the very important benefits adoption can offer you:

• The kind of family and future you desire for your child
• You choose an adoptive family for your child and get to know them personally
• You are informed of your legal rights to your child and given a full explanation of what to expect before you make any final decision
• The opportunity to explain the choice you made to your child

 

A LEGAL PROCEDURE

Adoption is a legal procedure which places a child with adoptive parents who raise the child as a member of their own family. It is important to talk to a social worker about it early in the pregnancy. After the baby is born you will be asked to sign a consent form. Sometime after the baby is placed, the adoptive parents will apply for an Adoption Order. After that you will be asked to sign the final consent to the Adoption Order.

Know that the Adoption Board of Ireland will choose the best parents for your child and that you have a done a great service for a childless couple and given your baby the gift of life.

ADOPTION : SUPPORT GROUPS

Adoption Board, Hawkins House, Hawkins Street, Dublin 2 T: (01) 6715888

Cúnamh, CPRSI House, 30 South Anne Street, Dublin 2     T: (01) 6779664

PACT (Protestant Adoption Society), Support and Counselling Service for Single Parents
15 Belgrave Road, Dublin 6    T: 1850 673 333

Adoptee Life (www.thankful.org) We simply want to thank our birth parents for choosing adoption, demonstrating a love we will never forget. Our lives with our families have been full of love and support, and we choose to let our appreciation be made public in support of past and future adoptions.

MYTHS AND REALITIES

Myth: The birth mother will regret her decision for the rest of her life. Some believe that adoption is so painful that most women regret the choice all their lives, or that a birth mother who chooses adoption will have serious emotional problems, or that adoption is a more traumatic experience for a woman than abortion.

Reality: For the birth parent facing an unplanned pregnancy, making an adoption plan can be a very positive resolution. With support and counselling, most birth mothers who choose adoption based on the best interests of their children and themselves are able to grieve and proceed with the healing process in a positive manner. When the adoption experience is handled properly, most birth mothers feel good about their decision years later.

Myth: Birth mothers are uncaring and soon forget about their babies. Some believe that a birth mother who cares about her child would not think of adoption, or that adoption is an irresponsible solution, or that pregnant women who choose adoption take the easy way out, or that a birth mother will eventually forget about the child she placed in adoption.

Reality: Birth parents make loving parenting decisions when they plan adoptions. Birth parents who make adoption plans are choosing an option which allows them to fulfill their parenting responsibilities. Adoption is a way to ensure their child's long-term needs are met in the best possible way. In order to do this, they must put their child's needs above their own, a sign of maturity, responsibility and selflessness. Adoption is by no means taking the easy way out. It is a difficult decision and young women need to be supported in this decision.

Myth: Adoption damages the child. Some believe that adoption damages the child, or that adopted children are not well-adjusted, or have mental health problems, or are damaged by the experience, or will grow up to have serious psychological problems, or feel bitter or rejected.

Reality: Adopted children do well in life. A recent study interviewed over 700 teenagers who had been adopted as infants. The study, the largest ever of adopted teens and their families, looked at various indicators of well-being.